Border Dispute: Scandal Follows Her Wherever She Poops

One of the nicest things about my neighborhood is that nobody has a back fence. When we first moved in, I thought it was a little weird, but I've ended up really liking it. All the neighbors are very nice, very respectful of everyone's privacy, and very, well, neighborly. The kids all know each other really well and get to play as if the yards are one huge park with no borders.

The only problem we've had so far is that the little girl who lives behind us likes to walk her dog, Cuddles, and when she cuts through our yard, she lets him poop in my favorite part of our yard. My husband, who really isn't trying to be confrontational or aggressive about it, picks up the poop with a scooper and tosses it back across the border into Cuddles' yard.

And then a few days ago, I saw this. Yes, that's my favorite nook in the yard. And that's my assistant.

What is she doing? Let's zoom in.

"Jon," I asked my husband, "have you ever actually seen Cuddles poop in our yard?" He said no. I showed him the surveillance footage.

"But it's not shaped like cat s***. It looks like dog s***", he said.

"Jon," I said, "have you no idea what she's capable of?"

Here she is molding the contraband into dog shaped contraband.

Of course she denies the whole affair. But I know what she's capable of, and I know what her motive was. Did she do it because she hates Cuddles? Partly. Did she do it because the neighborhood children bother her? Sort of. But mainly this was about Jon. She manipulated a grown man, a well-respected and highly educated member of the community, into chunking animal crap like a freaking ape into the yard of the nicest neighbors in the world, not just once, but many times. The moral of the story? NEVER underestimate Ms. Norwood. And never cross her.