How to transfer inkjet images to wood

I have been taking pictures for TWO days. Trying to get stuff listed in my etsy shop. The gods of photography are not smiling on me today. Why is it that when someone tries to explain photography to me, I only hear "blah blah aperture blah blah blah depth of field blah blah". Why do I have a mental block with photography?

I lose my ability to even perceive color. And I know I have color sensitivity. When did I develop that? I was at the doctor's office yesterday, well, in the cafeteria, and everything was forest green and dusty mauve. And sticky yellowy shellacked oak. I thought I was going to go into anaphylactic shock.