La grippe porcine

With a mindful eye to the rich history and tradition of medicine in the west, I write to you today to update you on the status of the blogger simply known as Katie, on matsutakeblog. As a doctor, I fear that something has gone awry with one of her four humors - black bile, yellow bile, phlegm, blood or perhaps, an as yet unidentified humor - maché, or ModPodge (no relation to Amy), has, perhaps, caused a case of the vapors. I am uncertain at this time, though I have provided Theraflu and Zinc/Vitamin C/Vitamin B tabs for the lady.

There has been much excitement at our household, recently, and as you know, Katie is an "excitable" young lady. The craft union backed Oompa-Loompas (well, that is what I call them) are an irritable bunch, and are working currently at capacity to prepare for the big dance. Then of course there is the surprising departure of Ms. Norwood, which took both an emotional and physical toll on Katie.

Off the record: As a guest blogger, I feel Ms. Norwood was secretly embezzling from the company to further the illusion that she "in" with the Upper-West side crowd. I am having accounting check into this as we speak, and counsel has suggested that I say little more on this matter. But, we all know she was living beyond her means, and although she still corresponds with Katie, updating her on her continent-du jour, I feel this is a ruse. She is likely in a dishelved heap with a bottle of Stoli and a pack of Marlboro lights in some poorly lit motel room in Jersey. Hairy Winston, indeed.

At this time all I can be certain of is Katie is stable, and should return to full crafting glory with little sequelae. As a final word of caution, I would avoid.....

,,,,interacting with our porcine friends in this manner until we receive further updates from the CDC. Good luck, and Godspeed, crafters!


  1. I just want it on the record that I tried to warn Katie about Ms. Norwood from the beginning and would be happy to testify if need should arise.

    Please, Dr., send her my best,


  2. Oh. My. God.

    You HAVE to run a LOL Cats style caption contest for that photo!! Pretty please!

  3. Katie, how many times have I told you pigs are not for kissing--french or otherwise!

    Please do get well soon though. I miss you terribly already.

  4. must rest! think bahamas and daquiries and other drinks i can't spell. white sand and pink sunsets and unlimited hot glue. rest up and recover well, my friend.

  5. thank you. swine flu sux. jon made me drink theraflu and watch E! true hollywood story Valerie Bertinelli. ugh.

  6. What is La grippe porcine? because I had never heard about this therm, maybe it should be related to the photo below where the child is socking the pig.


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