Cooking With Katie
Are there any cooking shows where the chef gets interrupted right at a critical cooking moment to assist a potty training 2 year old with diaper rash who is shrieking bloody murder and another kid who needs help with a report on Blaise Pascal and another kid who just returned cranky and starving from a sleepover and they're all sort of hanging over the chef and right when she picks up a hunk of raw meat somebody in another room starts yelling "mommy! help! i stuck!" and the whole dinner has to be completed in time for the chef's spouse to go to an overnight 12 hour work shift and there's no production staff to wipe, clean, and wash every surface and dish afterwards and just as it's ready to serve in bowls the chef realizes there are no clean bowls and she can't run any hot water to clean them because spouse is in the shower? Because that's a cooking show that would have SOME relevance to my life.
I want Rachel Ray to have to change a poop diaper just as the garlic is about burn. I want Jamie Oliver to have to explain vacuums and conic sections to one kid while telling the other kid why he can't go to the park while timing the addition of all his ingredients. Because then I'd watch their shows.
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ReplyDeleteHa, sorry. My brain has been turned off!
ReplyDeletePost said,
LOVE it! And yes, while I am living that life, I would also watch the Mom reality version of that cooking show! And probably even laugh. :)
And also all the ingredients would need to be changed to accommodate picky preschoolers, allergic toddlers, gluten-intolerant house guests... and it all needs to be done on a budget of $3 a person.
ReplyDeleteJamie has little kids. He's your best bet. Write it in to him!
ReplyDeleteOh Katie, and also Martha, burning her fingers on her hot glue gun because she turned her head right at the moment when Kid #3 tried to erase her files from the desktop while trying to print out coloring sheets all by her 3-year-old-self, exclaiming, "Mama! The princess picture went into the trash can!"
ReplyDeleteYou know what? You could write a book about the days of your life and real moms would buy it and read it and hug you, that's why.
Haha! I'd watch that show! There's nothing that kills a dinner (or my appetite) faster than the 4-year-old yelling "I pooped! Wipe me!" from the hall bathroom.
ReplyDeleteGina
www.thedailyb.net
Hahaha, this was funny. Or wait - maybe not. I feel you, anyway.
ReplyDeleteI play my own private version of Iron Chef every time I open the cupboard and think, "Okay 20 minutes 'til triple-meltdown.. one can of fava beans (enchilada sauce, anchovies, lasagna noodles, gingersnaps, whatever). Now, MAKE DINNER!"
ReplyDeleteAnd, like you, my sous chefs are usually fighting or pooping, and they are ALWAYS touching me. When I make dinner, Mario Batali got nothin' on me.
I happened upon your blog from Pinterest - there was a cool lamp tutorial. This post is hysterical. I wrote one the other day about how I feel like the only reason my children associate with me is so I'll change their diapers and fill their sippy cups....but then I deleted it because I felt guilty for whining. Your post is way more funny and I'm really enjoying looking through your blog!
ReplyDeleteYou are so funny! Love it (and the previous post about cat turds - ha ha ha ha ha!!!).
ReplyDeleteWell I'll give you this.. you are hilarious! and Ms Norwood is my kind of cat. She'd fit right in my my Blueberry, Little Man, Sugar Baby and Peanut.. all of whom have some rather odd quirks of their own. I love the Ikea table you did.. I have that same table.. It's in my shed at the moment and I think you just salvaged it or me. I never know what I want to do with it but the look you gave it was awesome.. thank you..
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