Is There a Patron Saint of Home Improvement?
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See this? This is my entryway. Please disregard that chandelier. It's days are numbered. Anyway, that peanut butter gravy color paint has been bringing me down since we moved into this house 3 years ago. I started repainting a pale gray color on the other side of the room, but now I'm to the entry. See the problem? The ceiling goes up. And up. And up. And if you'll notice, the floor goes down. And down. And down those stairs. For 3 years I've been staring at that area of wall and thinking "how the f*** am I going to paint that?"
So, yes, you guys, yesterday I climbed up on top of that little ceiling area, right up there above the molding and just below the smoke detector. I lay up there on my belly and hung my face over the edge and reached my arm around and painted the molding and cut in the pale gray, not sure if the drywall was going to crack through and I'd end up crumbled in the hall closet, or worse yet, on the horrible green tiled floor 25 feet down. I was beyond nervous. Like sick nervous. I waited until Jon was home (usually I try to do stuff while he's not here so he can't question me) so that he could administer medical help if I needed it. I told him that and he replied that if I fell, what could he do? Well. I don't know. Scoop me up into a big baggie and call 911? Tell them your wife is in a big puddle of splattered body and pale gray paint on the horrid green tiled floor because she couldn't stand the peanut butter gravy another minute?
So while I was up there painting I was breathing soooo hard, like audibly panting, and I was chanting "don't look down, don't look down, don't look down" and I was so infused with stress hormones that my vision was whiting out and I was seeing stars. It was all so ridiculous because my whole body was flattened out and there was no way I'd fall, plus Jon was sitting there in the living room, no doubt ready to administer help and probably just as nervous as me although he didn't show it and on the outside just appeared to be checking sports scores on his iPhone. I went up and down a total of 3 times, each time sliding on my belly back down onto a 6ft ladder, so that now I feel like I've had 3 battery acid bikini waxes.
And this is how much I got done.
So I have to go back up today. Wish me luck. Is there a patron saint of home improvement? Light a candle for me.
See this? This is my entryway. Please disregard that chandelier. It's days are numbered. Anyway, that peanut butter gravy color paint has been bringing me down since we moved into this house 3 years ago. I started repainting a pale gray color on the other side of the room, but now I'm to the entry. See the problem? The ceiling goes up. And up. And up. And if you'll notice, the floor goes down. And down. And down those stairs. For 3 years I've been staring at that area of wall and thinking "how the f*** am I going to paint that?"
So, yes, you guys, yesterday I climbed up on top of that little ceiling area, right up there above the molding and just below the smoke detector. I lay up there on my belly and hung my face over the edge and reached my arm around and painted the molding and cut in the pale gray, not sure if the drywall was going to crack through and I'd end up crumbled in the hall closet, or worse yet, on the horrible green tiled floor 25 feet down. I was beyond nervous. Like sick nervous. I waited until Jon was home (usually I try to do stuff while he's not here so he can't question me) so that he could administer medical help if I needed it. I told him that and he replied that if I fell, what could he do? Well. I don't know. Scoop me up into a big baggie and call 911? Tell them your wife is in a big puddle of splattered body and pale gray paint on the horrid green tiled floor because she couldn't stand the peanut butter gravy another minute?
So while I was up there painting I was breathing soooo hard, like audibly panting, and I was chanting "don't look down, don't look down, don't look down" and I was so infused with stress hormones that my vision was whiting out and I was seeing stars. It was all so ridiculous because my whole body was flattened out and there was no way I'd fall, plus Jon was sitting there in the living room, no doubt ready to administer help and probably just as nervous as me although he didn't show it and on the outside just appeared to be checking sports scores on his iPhone. I went up and down a total of 3 times, each time sliding on my belly back down onto a 6ft ladder, so that now I feel like I've had 3 battery acid bikini waxes.
And this is how much I got done.
Wowzers, you deserve a medal, i don't think i could manage that..and the bikini wax....soooo made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteHave a great day, and be careful :)
Mantha xx
i stumbled upon your blog and just wanted to say you're hilarious and i love it.
ReplyDeletewhat paint color is that? it's quite lovely : )
Hire a painter. For real. It won't be that expensive if you get a few bids and it will be WELL WORTH THE MONEY. I found a good one on craigslist.
ReplyDeleteYou are awesome. Your efforts are heroic and well documented. I'm happy I've subscribed to your blog.
ReplyDelete(also, while hiring a painter totally makes sense, I think your DIY are to be commended and make for a much better story)
I SO feel your pain, I have THREE of those lovely ledges in my house that I've had to brave to paint ceilings. It took me a year to want to paint ANYTHING again. Sorry, no words of encouragement, just my reality.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness! You need a paint edger and an extendable pole: https://www.google.com/search?q=paint+edger&rls=com.microsoft:en-us&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&startIndex=&startPage=1&safe=strict#q=paint+edger&hl=en&safe=strict&rls=com.microsoft:en-us&prmd=imvns&source=univ&tbm=shop&tbo=u&sa=X&ei=9bINT8r0M4L-iQKa7qTnAw&ved=0CIIBEK0E&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.,cf.osb&fp=38c98bf30ad7ad82&biw=1187&bih=766
ReplyDeleteI have a few ideas fo you-
ReplyDelete1- hire a PRO- cheaper than hospital visit for panic attacks or broke body
2- need bigger ladder (rent)
3- scaffolding for stairs (rent) & the extension poles mentioned above
4- IF you can cover everything below with plastic- use a paint sprayer.
5- visit a physciatrist if you develop PTSD from doing this yourself. :D
I'll be watching your progress with great interest. I have a huge high ceiling/staircase combo, too, and it scares me bunches.
ReplyDeleteThe plan is to hire a pro from Craigslist, like Sarah and Robin said, but if there's a way to DIY it and still be safe/have it look fabulous, I'm all about that.
Oh, and be careful!
I too, "stumbled upon your blog and just wanted to say you're hilarious and i love it."
ReplyDeleteYou are the funniest thing I have ever seen on the net. If you survive this project...I can't wait to see the final results. When you finish this house you should really try your hand at writting a sitcom about this whole renovating, crafting, blogging, experiance...including the cats... YOU ROCK!
We have the same issue of very tall ceilings and stairs. I've come up with a few interesting ideas that I thought could work, but my husband isn't convinced ... anyway I applaud your efforts, as I too feel that it is acceptable to risk life for DIY. Keep showing us your progress!
ReplyDeleteYou are really funny! It is so great to read your efforts in painting. it's caused a huge smile on my face!
ReplyDeleteWe have an area like that in our house too...and since I do 99% of the improvement projects around the house myself, I handed this one to the hubby and let him worry about it ;)
ReplyDelete