Craft Wars: Tori Spelling is my BFF

She doesn't know it yet, but she is. And I'm not like those other fans who are like "oh, we'd totally be friends in real life" while they try to convince you that they're different and not creepy for having an imaginary BFFship with a celebrity, because this celebrity totally would really be my BFF if she knew me in real life. I'm different.

No, really, let's talk about the show. I loved it. Why? Because by 9 o'clock at night I'm so crafted out exhausted that it's nice to watch other ladies run around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to create something awesome on the spot. Sure, I compete with them in my head, which is where I often lunch with Tori, and I never even have to get off the sofa except to reach for the Dorito bag. Perfect. And, yes, I beat all three of those contestants, also in my head, because isn't that why we watch reality tv, anyway? Because we can lie on the sofa and with perfect hindsight and the pause button on the remote come up with even better ideas and never even accidentally try to sew fabric that has spray glue on it? Yes, I'd win each and every episode, but this way, in my head and on my sofa, I never even have to apply lip gloss. How does Tori get her lips so shiny, anyway?